Happy gloomy Monday morning everyone. Stating the obvious, I will say that I would rather be home and in bed. Ah, my warm and comfy bed, how I miss thee. All things considered, I am ready to face the day. Despite how tired I am, I have every intention of making it the best day I can. Besides, it was a great weekend. Not only did I get to take in a fantastic show, I also got to pick up our Depeche Mode tickets. September can’t come soon enough, says this queen.

I remember the last time I had heard they were coming, though unfortunately I couldn’t attend due to a former friend’s birthday party. This time, there is nothing stopping my attendance. I’ve been a long time fan and I’ve heard they are positively excellent live. I finally will get to see them and will be able to check that item off my list. Next, of course, is 30 Seconds To Mars. Although they haven’t released any tour dates for South Florida as of yet, they are definitely on my to-do list.

Now on to my next topic, me. I’m a work in progress, always learning and growing. Which is why I’m trying something new. Most of you readers may not know this, but I’ve lived a life full of betrayals and hurts. This has always been a very hard thing for me to deal with and an even harder thing to let go. Being someone who is loyal and of what I think is good moral character, it’s been difficult for me to deal with the fact that most people are of an inherently selfish nature and that so long as they get what they want, it matters not who they hurt.

Hurt me it has. I’ve allowed it for as long as I can remember, up until recently. Two years ago, I began to take a stand. I knew that it would come with the price of losing people, though truth be told, if they went it was because they needed to go. I did not, nor do not, need people in my life who cannot appreciate nor respect me. My heart could not bear to have people continuously take me for granted and take advantage of my loyalty and love. I needed to demand my respect and love myself.

I’m speaking of it openly, though don’t let yourself believe this didn’t, doesn’t, hurt like hell. It was difficult to face that I was not the exception and that people were not who I believed they were. Improper grammar set aside, I grew weary of living my life for others. People mistaking my kindness for weakness became quite old.

The more daunting task came after the release. I have had to heal the wounds which as of now are still open. I’ve had a hard time letting myself feel since then. I’ve judged myself each time the hurt or anger have come to the surface and now I’m beginning to think that is what’s kept it still within me. I need to let that go and so I’m beginning today. I know that it’s okay to feel pain, and I know that I did not deserve any of what’s been done.

People are who who they are. Some of these people will hurt or betray me. There are no exceptions. It’s okay to feel the pain, but then let it flow through you. I will not suppress myself for the sake of others any longer. Now, that may not fare well with others as experience has proven, but it what it is. I am me.